"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it."
Oscar Wilde
Welcome to Imagination Temptation, a place where rants of a girl and the overwhelming feelings of her lays here.
All of the words implied here are genuinely from inside her mind or heart, though there are no guarantee that everything in here were just her imagination or fantasy.
Shall you see further inside this place, just click the girls on the left.
Profile
Who am I?
Certainly no one.
Well, I am just a being who likes to imagine a lot. It even tempts me.
An author of its life. A human who likes to and being loved.
Who doesn't, after all? Blasphemy, I say, if you don't need to be love and loved.
I like simplicity yet complexity. I like modest things yet also I like challenges.
I hate apathetic people. I hate selfish people. I hate ignorant people.
I love stories from the girl in the attic. I love songs that sings out feelings.
I don't like cliche love songs. Suffice to say, I don't like most of the songs in the world?
Hey, do you want to know more? Are you listening to me?
Today, when I woke up from my nap, I suddenly began to think the worst again.
I always feel that I've never became someone special in anyone's heart, especially my friends. Day by day, I began to see that the distance is getting more clearer. How do I different from them, and how do I became so outcasted.
I now realize that 'friend' is really a huge matter. I used to can't see why do people clings and depends to their friend so much. I used to think why they can't just adapting with their new zone, but now that I see why, I can be so sure that now I'm just the same like those people I detest. I'm just the same like them. I can't do anything without my friends. Those ol' friends of mine.
I began to see that myself is worthless to them again. I began to see that I am nothing to them. If I am something to them, I wouldn't have to search them over and over. I wouldn't have to hope so much that they love me too. I wouldn't expect wonderful surprises they would give me everyday. I wouldn't be left out. I wouldn't be ignored.
I wouldn't feel this sad, and have no one to turn to.
I began to expect nothing on my 17th birthday next month. I wouldn't expect for any surprises and lots of love. I don't know who are my best friends and who are just my 'friends'. I don't know anymore. Though I can blame myself for never being a good friend, I always think that I've done my best.
Though there is God, the distance I have with Him is very clear. I don't know where He is as I don't know how to reach Him. I always hope with Him, but everything just turn into emptiness.
Aside from that, now I really wish for an ability so read people's mind. I want to know what do they think about me, and what really is in their mind. Maybe my heart will be really hurt, but I think it's better than I'm just here and know nothing at all.
Today, I smiled to him, but he didn't smile back to me. I wonder why.
